Changing perceptions in self-image

Today, in the language class, we watched a video called Comfortable: 50 People 1 Question. The beginning of the video resembles many others, which purpose is to change people’s view towards their own body. These videos are made specifically to catch the attention of consumers and to convince them to buy a certain product. The ambiguity of the message this videos send is extraordinary. This particular video, however, deals with the same topic but from a different perspective. As adults and children are asked “The question” we realise that there is depth in the phrasing of the question that brings to the surface a singular social phenomenon. 

“If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?”

After watching the video I had three specific questions about the answers to that particular question. Why do adults want to change physical characteristics? How is it connected to the reason the give for wanting to do so? Why do children want to add characteristics that can give them abilities and not change the ones they have?

While looking for information about the matter, I came across an interesting research. A global survey was done, supervised by Maja Becker, a social psychologist at the CLLE (Laboratoire Cognition, Langue, Langages, Ergonomie, CNRS / Université de Toulouse II-Le Mirail). The results indicate that regardless of our personal values, we base most of our self-esteem on the fulfilment of the dominant values of our culture. This information might be helpful when trying to find an explanation for the abysmal difference between children and adults’ answers. When we are children, our body is a precious gift: it helps us play, eat, and communicate. We accept it as it is. Furthermore, we want to make it better by having abilities that would help us do what we enjoy. This way, the answer most children give in the video makes sense. It is related to an enhancement of one of our abilities: to have shark teeth to eat a lot, to have a mermaid tail, to be as fast as a cheetah, etc.   

As we grow up, nevertheless, our perception changes. Our circle of acquaintanceship grows, and we start being influenced by the opinion of our peers. This situation leads to a categorisation of Physical characteristics: some are valued and some are perfect to be mocked.  Unfortunately, the view of our body is distorted by society’s aesthetics values and we lose the positive impression we had of our self-image. This might be the reason why most adults explained that they suffered a lot when they were kids due to the fact that their physical characteristics were considered abnormal.

I believe that it is of the utmost importance that we stop for a moment and reflect on our self-image. Do we consider ourselves beautiful? Do we hate some characteristic of our body? I so, why? Is it really our opinion or somebody else's? If our opinion is influenced in a negative way by others we need to start leaving aside those negative comments and embrace a positive opinion towards ourselves. This will contribute to our mental and physical health and to our attitude towards ourselves and the others.

Speech codes: important but disregarded

A few days ago, Iwas talking with my father and one of my brothers about the insults and words that generally appear in certain popular programs. Suddenly, my father said in a peculiar voice: “culo, culo y culo”. My brother and I looked at each other and started laughing. Then I said: “Well, that’s the only time the use of that word is funny and that’s only because he’s so shy and explodes after being teased so much”. To this, my brother interjected: “Yes, he and Maronna. Do you remember when the teacher says “Maronna, tiene un uno, tiene un uno, si” and the look on his face. We all started laughing. Then, my brother expressed that if without swearing, Les Luthiers could make us laugh then they were worthy of his respect. We all agreed and the topic of the conversation changed from programs we did not like to our favourite performances of Les Luthiers.

El poeta y el eco. Les Luthiers

Canción a la independencia de Feudalia. Les Luthiers

This situation made me reflect on the fact that both my brother and I understood what my father was trying to convey without him explicitly expressing it. I believe if an outsider had been standing with us, she/he would never have got the meaning of the conversation. We made a connection between insults and a specific situation that made us laugh. This was possible due to fact that the three of us had watched many performances of the comic group Les Luthiers. 

The main idea that came to my mind when reflecting upon it was that, sometimes, to communicate with someone not only do you need to share a language but also have a certain code in common.  After searching for information about it I found that Ethnography of communication "is the analysis of communication within the wider context of the social and cultural practices and beliefs of the members of a particular culture or speech community. It is a method of discourse analysis in linguistics that draws on the anthropological field of ethnography. Unlike ethnography proper, though, EOC takes into account both the communicative form, which may include but is not limited to spoken language, and its function within the given culture. general aims of this qualitative research method include being able to discern which communication acts and/or codes are important to different groups, what types of meanings groups apply to different communication events, and how group members learn these codes, in order to provide insight into particular communities. This additional insight may be used to enhance communication with group members' decisions, and distinguish groups from one another, among other things". (Wikipedia) 

Reading this, I realised that the existence of these speech codes havebeen studied for some time and are a reflection of social attitudes. However, this important aspect of communication is not taken into account by many people in their everyday life. It is only when a clash between groups occurs and an explanation is needed that this difference in speech codes becomes known. When outsiders cannot understand, the group perceives it and needs to change ther code to include those people,  or risk alienating them.
Personally, I feel like an aoutsider every time people talk about TV peograms or soap operas that I haven't even heard about. Nevertheless, this does not happen a lot. I have, however, witnessed many people struggling to understand when my siblings and I make references to books or movies. When that happens, we need to explain every single reference and communication is disrupted.

Have you ever felt like you could not understand a word, even when they were speaking in Spanish? Have you ever had to explain certain reference or comment to someone?

Interesting discovery

While I was relaxing last Saturday night, I heard a male voice commenting as if he were at a boxing match or a similar sport. I started because none of the members of my family watches those kinds of programs or are interested in watching sports. When I followed the sound and went into my brother’s room, the screen showed a video game playing. After asking him about the comments he explained that he was watching the finals of the word championship of LoL. Having no idea what he was talking about, I left him alone and set my mind to looking for information about the video game and particularly the finals. What I learnt is surprisingly interesting (at least for me).

What is LoL? A simple explanation

League of Legends (LoL) is a multiplayer on line arena video game that was released in 2009. In League of Legends, players assume the role of a character, called a "champion", with unique abilities, battling with a team against other player or computer-controlled champions. In the most popular game modes, each team's goal is to destroy the opposing team's nexus, a building which lies at the heart of a base protected by defensive structures. Each League of Legends game is discrete, with all champions starting off each game fairly weak and progressing by accumulating gold and experience over the course of the game.(Wikipedia)

After getting to know a bit about the game I searched specifically for the World Championship. What I learnt is that in 2014, the season 4 of the World championship was held.  The grand finals were held in South Korea and a massive audience was present to enjoy not only the game but also the music of Imagine Dragons and other activities. The music band was invited due to the fact that they played the song “Warriors” for the video game. As regards the team that won the prize, it was constituted by 5 players from South Korea, and the opposing team by three players from China and two from South Korea. The winner took home the prize of a million dollars and prestige among gamers. (LoL World Championship) 

LoL Wold Championship. Season 4 

All of this surprised me. A few years ago, gamers were considered to be weird and left aside by most people. They were even mocked and insulted. I find positive the fact that now they have created a community in which they can enjoy themselves and create bonds with other people with whom they share interests. I also like the fact that each team is not necessarily from a specific country but from all over the world. I know in some cases the language and cultural background makes it easy to gather a team of people from the same country but some of them are from different countries.  Another positive thing about this Championship is related to the fact that whenever a player acts in a negative way he is given a fine and prevented from playing. These negative attitudes are not only related to technical aspects of the game but also to the respect they show towards other players. In addition, nowadays universities have begun granting scholarships related to sports to gamers. I know this might not sound fair to athletes but I find refreshing the decision to give people who have different interests, the opportunity to have a better education.

I know there are negative aspects to take into consideration when talking about video games and the Championship, its creation to bring money to large corporations being just one of them. But I was really surprised by the positive atmosphere and values that both the organisers and players of the video game seem to project, taking into account the violence depicted in it.

New meaning or veiled insult?

What comes to mind when 15^th birthday and party are said in the same sentence? Maybe what comes to mind is that the decoration generally reflects the personality of the birthday girl?  Perhaps the existence of a certain hierarchical difference between people going to the dinner and those going after 12 a.m. is what your mind conjures up. And maybe, the delicious food, the awesome music and the emotional time watching videos and remembering the life of the person being celebrated is what triggers the smile slowly appearing on your face.

When last week I went to a party, all of these aspects of an event that is rooted in our culture were on my mind. And although they were all present, one situation shocked me and made me reflect on the difference between generations:

The group of friends attending the party had made some posters and stuck them all around town. They had the purpose of saying Happy Birthday to the girl throwing the party. What really left me speechless was the content of those posters. The title was: “Se busca negra inmigrante” and then, a list of offences such as “ser una p#&%+”, “tener un sentido de la moda peor que un mendigo”, “dar los peores consejos del mundo”. “apestar”, “ser lenta” etc. In the end it stated that all was a joke and wished the girl a Happy Birthday.

After reading such texts I felt terribly uncomfortable. I wondered if the birthday girl felt flattered or insulted by it and if it was a common occurrence among teenagers. Being there the entire weekend, I could see this group of friends interact several times and I realised they communicated with each other making use of words that for me are insults. They said “pelotuda”, “cabrona” and “boluda” as if they were endearments.

This situation made me question the use of those words. Do teenagers use these words with a change in relation to the original meaning or is this type of communication a veiled war of egos? Do they feel offended or flattered by them? Are they aware of the real meaning of the words? Most of them did not even blink when talking while making use of these specific words so I suppose they are attributing new meanings to insults. Either way I would never consider an insult a term of endearment and if someone refers to me in those terms I would stop them and ask them to treat me with respect. I do not care if their reasons are good; if somebody tells me “boluda” I will not hold them in high esteem.

What is your opinion? Do you think words change their meaning according to the context? Are there any words that you have heard said as a term of endearment but you consider them not to be?

The emotion in their eyes

This week has been one of the most difficult ones for me. In addition to the fact that everybody has been nervous due to the situation described in my previous post, I have felt there were not enough hours in a day to do everything that needed to be done. This is the reason I have felt on edge the entire week. But during this crazy time I have experienced two unexpected situations that made me stop and silently marvel at the power lying behind someone’s eyes.

The first situation happened while I was teaching a class for the practicum, a necessary subject in the teaching training course I am taking to become an English teacher. I am generally calm when being in front of the class (odd as it may sound) but during this particular lesson I felt hopeless in the pursuit of the students' attention. I could not pin point what the cause for their nervousness was and, therefore, help them in any way. That was the moment in which I looked at one of the students and froze. He was calm and smiling but what made stop and sare was the fact that his eyes communicated so much overwhelmed me. There was a sparkle in his hazel eyes that showed curiosity, interest and activeness. It was as if his mind was soaking everything up and could not stop. Being a person that takes in information and situations but rarely participates in class, I felt identified with him and that brought the necessary inner calmness not to leave the classroom in tears. Without even realising, he gave me the support and encouragement I needed to keep on trying, and for that I am grateful.

The second situation occurred a day I was late and needed to take some copies. Having been raised to believe that I need to be at a place fifteen minutes earlier or else it shows lack of respect, I was ready to bite my fingernails.  In addition, the woman at the Xerox office took her time doing her job. That is why by the time all the copies were made, I was a nervous wreck. On top of that it was impossible for me to find the money to pay for the copies and I started getting desperate. I must have looked like hell because the woman looked at me in a comforting way. She did not say a word but her eyes seemed to say: “Calm down, breathe, everything is OK”. That was all it took. I pulled myself together, found the money, paid for the copies and got to my appointment with a peace of mind I did not possess only five minutes before.

These two unconscious acts of kindness made me think about how, sometimes, strangers have a positive influence in our lives. Maybe they did not even intend for their eyes to communicate so much. Maybe I simply imagined the emotion showing behind their gaze because it was something I needed. The truth is, these situations show we can help somebody or make them feel worse just by looking at them. People in the street, at the supermarket or even in our homes can be touched by the emotions we show in just a gaze. Are we aware of the signals we send whenever we look at someone? Personally, I think that I never pay attention to what my gaze may be communicating others. The exception might be those times when a person I know seems to be uncomfortable or suffering. In those cases I try to communicate my support. Unfortunately due to my lack of attention and the existence of lapses in which I am lost in thought, most of the time I do not think about the type of signal I send strangers. 

Do you think we can help someone with just a simple gesture? Is it necessary to know the person to have an impact on her/his life? Do eyes really communicate emotions or are they just a reflection of the needs of the beholder?

Disappointment

El Diario de la República on line

On Wednesday a group of students and some teachers from the IFDC San Luis started a protest. During the graduation ceremony of this year, the protesters were on the street. Then, they decided to go inside of the building and not let any other activity continue. On Thursday, many students could not enter the building and some that could, had problems when they wanted to leave.

On Facebook, different statements appeared. This post explains their complaints and demands:

Many things have been said since the protest began. Some people complains about being deprived of their right to get an education and others are outraged by what they consider to be a betrayal to the teachings in critical thinking and to the fact that we need to help each other.

I believe this is an important issue and needs to be taken with the utmost responsibility and respect.

I agree with the fact that there are many aspects of our education that need to be improved.  I have witnessed how teachers struggle to help us get a degree that allows us to have the necessary tools for us to be good teachers. But the answers will not be given if the questions are shouted in anger. Protesters will not gain my respect or help when they deprive me of my right to have classes and look down on me for wanting to. I understand their need to have solutions but not the necessity of disregarding everybody else’s wishes to get it.

In addition, when the statements are signed by people that are part of political parties I start wondering if this protest is not something else. When those who are demanding a better education and wave the flag of their rights start denying the right of other people to get an education, and do so in a violent way, I wonder if they see the contradiction in their behaviour.

This post of a classmate clearly reflects the situation:

Disappointment is what comes to mind when I think about the way they decided to act. I strongly believe that different decisions can be made to find solutions. Using creativity and the help of every student and teacher, diverse activities can bring the attention and favourable opinion of the community to this issue. But being violent and imposing their ideas and actions is definitely not the way. 

They are talking about it:

La GacetaDigital

El Diario de la República

La Bulla

Nacional San Luis

Compliment or insult?

Have you ever been walking by the street and suddenly heard “Hey, gorgeous!” said by a complete stranger? This week, a classmate was subjected to this. Having witnessed many similar situations like this one I would like to write about it.

First of all I would like to bring to attention that the action previously described is known as catcalling. When I learnt the name, I was like What? Really? Even the name of the action is offensive. Besides the origin of the word meant a kind of whistle or squeaking instrument used to express disapproval at a theatre. (Oxford dictionary).

Secondly, I have always wondered why they do it. Why do men (and women, let’s be honest) feel the need to speak to a stranger in such an intimate way? Are they trying to compliment the person, make her/him feel uncomfortable or are they just looking for something to do? I searched the net to see what people thought about it. Of course there is a lot of information, and even though most of it puts men in the role of the offender and women in that of the victim, there are different sides.There are people who believe men are that way. They need to express themselves and they can’t do it in delicate ways. This people declare that men’s intention is to compliment women and that they should be thankful for the attention. In opposition, many people call catcalling street harassment and repudiate it. There are several programs that try to fight against this. StopStreet Harassment is the name of a non-profit organisation in the US.  Hollaback is another organisation that provides information and that have the vision of “a world where street harassment is not tolerated and where we all enjoy equal access to public spaces,". They have also created a list of myths surrounding street harassment.  Something that was interesting to know about was the project Hey Baby. This is the idea of a 22 year old artist who takes pictures of the men who “catcall” her and posts it on the net as a form of protest. I have found two facebook groups that are devoted to this in relation to Latin American women. They are No al acoso callejero o "piropos" (violencia verbal a las mujeres) and Paremos el acoso callejero. A third group of people claim women who are recipient of these “compliments” are asking for it because they wear clothes that are provocative.

Finally, taking into account that there are many opinions in relation to this situation, I believe we need to think about our own feelings and thoughts on the matter. Do we feel flattered or insulted to be called honey or gorgeous by strangers? Do we feel offended if the other person is not considered to be handsome but we let it slide if they are? Do we really need this external validation of our beauty? And are they even that? This is an important issue, specially in our country because women seem to accept this situation as common due to the fact that it's engraved in our culture.

Personally, I have always been amazed by the creativity some guys have when approaching a woman but that is because I am not the recipient of their words. I think that if someone I don’t know makes a comment about my clothes or my body I would feel uncomfortable and self-conscious, even if it is said with the best intentions. It would not matter if I find that person attractive or not. For me it’s a matter of politeness. That is why I love some tips that Mike Reynolds gives on what to do when you come across another human being walking down the street and you have the urge to speak to them:

1. Spot the person walking.

2. Think of what you'd like to say to that person. Get your sentence (or phrase or paragraph) perfect.

3. Smile because humans all need more smiles and say "hi", not the long sentence you had perfected.

4. Did they say "hi," back? Did they engage in discussion? Yes? That's wonderful, maybe they do want to talk. No? Then...

5. Keep walking. Or waiting for your bus or buying a poutine at the food truck stand or whatever it was you were doing in the streets.

Calling out the catcallers by Mike Reynolds

The poet and actress Blythe Baird also speaks of this in her poem “Girl code 101”. She takes the issue from the perspective of how women are conditioned to live accepting this situation.

What do you think about it? I would like to read your comments on the matter.

Living, not merely working

In one of the books I had to read last week, I found this lovely poem.

Work

There is no point in work

unless it absorbs you

like an absorbing game.

If it doesn’t absorb you

if it’s never any fun,

don’t do it.

When a man goes out into his work

he is alive like a tree in spring,

he is living, not merely working.

D. H. Lawrence

 Taken from: Ribe, R. and Vidal, N. (1993). Project work. Heineman, Oxford.

When I first read this poem, it reminded me of a post I once saw on Facebook. Both texts speak of doing what we love in order not to feel that earning our daily bread and butter is a burden. Personally, I agree with the essence of the words, life slips through our fingers while we try to meet society standards. Moreover, most of the time, we do not even stop for a moment to think about our own dreams and desires. But is it that easy to live by this principle? I believe that we do not have the freedom to do it. May be small wishes can be fulfilled but unless we have someone or something to lean on, our deepest dreams might always be just that.

 Once I read the poem I tried to find it on the Internet. The text I originally read is nothing but an extract and the complete poem speaks of much more than this. I have no words for it. I merely share it with you. (You can read the entire poem here )

Realistic depiction or stereotype?

Have you ever found yourself watching a video about how to make a waterfall braid when you started your search on wild animals in danger of extinction? It may seem unreal but the click from the mouse seems to follow the rambling directions that my brain gives, which leads to maze-like jumps from web page to web page, changing topic with no reason whatsoever.   
While using the Internet in this bizarre way, I found a video. This particular video is the creation of the English teacher, poet and battle rapper Mark Grist. 

I was initially drawn to the video because of its name and author.  After having done an analysis of a similar work (“You should date an illiterate girl” byCharles Warnke) from the perspective of the Systemic Functional Linguistic, I was particularly interested in men’s perspective on women.

Grist’s piece of spoken-word poetry immerses us in the daily nature of a meeting between a group of friends. His words, accompanied by the situation portrayed in the video allow us to feel as if we were having a conversation with Mark Grist. In addition, his use of colloquial language mixed with references to different authors makes his poet a delightful work to listen to. 

In his depiction of the woman he likes, he conveys a verbal image of her as having depth and versatility. He defines her as being able to be cheeky but also expressing herself in an appropriate manner, making use of a wide range of vocabulary. Not only does she read the classics but also magazines, menus, poems, cereal boxes.  She is not a book snob. On the contrary, she enjoys several different types of texts. The woman described is independent and considered an equal by the poet.  And even though physical appearance is mentioned, she is not considered only for it. The author makes it clear that her uniqueness derives from her capacity of looking for varied ways to entertain herself and enrich her knowledge.

But as his words sank in, I could not help but wonder: Isn’t his portrayal a bit unrealistic? He does portray a woman that is more realistic that those who generally appear in advertisement and some books. Women who look pretty at all times and are only interested in spending money. But is literacy really a sign of intelligence or is this just another stereotype, albeit a positive one? Are all women who read witty and versatile? Furthermore, are women who don’t make from reading a pastime not witty and unable to win an argument?  I know this is the description of a particular woman that lives in his mind, a woman he would like to meet but isn’t he putting too much effort in building an image that generalizes the characteristics of women who read? I certainly think so.

Go to Files for the written poem with links to a description of the authors, magazines and stores mentioned.