The emotion in their eyes

This week has been one of the most difficult ones for me. In addition to the fact that everybody has been nervous due to the situation described in my previous post, I have felt there were not enough hours in a day to do everything that needed to be done. This is the reason I have felt on edge the entire week. But during this crazy time I have experienced two unexpected situations that made me stop and silently marvel at the power lying behind someone’s eyes.

The first situation happened while I was teaching a class for the practicum, a necessary subject in the teaching training course I am taking to become an English teacher. I am generally calm when being in front of the class (odd as it may sound) but during this particular lesson I felt hopeless in the pursuit of the students' attention. I could not pin point what the cause for their nervousness was and, therefore, help them in any way. That was the moment in which I looked at one of the students and froze. He was calm and smiling but what made stop and sare was the fact that his eyes communicated so much overwhelmed me. There was a sparkle in his hazel eyes that showed curiosity, interest and activeness. It was as if his mind was soaking everything up and could not stop. Being a person that takes in information and situations but rarely participates in class, I felt identified with him and that brought the necessary inner calmness not to leave the classroom in tears. Without even realising, he gave me the support and encouragement I needed to keep on trying, and for that I am grateful.

The second situation occurred a day I was late and needed to take some copies. Having been raised to believe that I need to be at a place fifteen minutes earlier or else it shows lack of respect, I was ready to bite my fingernails.  In addition, the woman at the Xerox office took her time doing her job. That is why by the time all the copies were made, I was a nervous wreck. On top of that it was impossible for me to find the money to pay for the copies and I started getting desperate. I must have looked like hell because the woman looked at me in a comforting way. She did not say a word but her eyes seemed to say: “Calm down, breathe, everything is OK”. That was all it took. I pulled myself together, found the money, paid for the copies and got to my appointment with a peace of mind I did not possess only five minutes before.

These two unconscious acts of kindness made me think about how, sometimes, strangers have a positive influence in our lives. Maybe they did not even intend for their eyes to communicate so much. Maybe I simply imagined the emotion showing behind their gaze because it was something I needed. The truth is, these situations show we can help somebody or make them feel worse just by looking at them. People in the street, at the supermarket or even in our homes can be touched by the emotions we show in just a gaze. Are we aware of the signals we send whenever we look at someone? Personally, I think that I never pay attention to what my gaze may be communicating others. The exception might be those times when a person I know seems to be uncomfortable or suffering. In those cases I try to communicate my support. Unfortunately due to my lack of attention and the existence of lapses in which I am lost in thought, most of the time I do not think about the type of signal I send strangers. 

Do you think we can help someone with just a simple gesture? Is it necessary to know the person to have an impact on her/his life? Do eyes really communicate emotions or are they just a reflection of the needs of the beholder?