Speech codes: important but disregarded

A few days ago, Iwas talking with my father and one of my brothers about the insults and words that generally appear in certain popular programs. Suddenly, my father said in a peculiar voice: “culo, culo y culo”. My brother and I looked at each other and started laughing. Then I said: “Well, that’s the only time the use of that word is funny and that’s only because he’s so shy and explodes after being teased so much”. To this, my brother interjected: “Yes, he and Maronna. Do you remember when the teacher says “Maronna, tiene un uno, tiene un uno, si” and the look on his face. We all started laughing. Then, my brother expressed that if without swearing, Les Luthiers could make us laugh then they were worthy of his respect. We all agreed and the topic of the conversation changed from programs we did not like to our favourite performances of Les Luthiers.

El poeta y el eco. Les Luthiers

Canción a la independencia de Feudalia. Les Luthiers

This situation made me reflect on the fact that both my brother and I understood what my father was trying to convey without him explicitly expressing it. I believe if an outsider had been standing with us, she/he would never have got the meaning of the conversation. We made a connection between insults and a specific situation that made us laugh. This was possible due to fact that the three of us had watched many performances of the comic group Les Luthiers. 

The main idea that came to my mind when reflecting upon it was that, sometimes, to communicate with someone not only do you need to share a language but also have a certain code in common.  After searching for information about it I found that Ethnography of communication "is the analysis of communication within the wider context of the social and cultural practices and beliefs of the members of a particular culture or speech community. It is a method of discourse analysis in linguistics that draws on the anthropological field of ethnography. Unlike ethnography proper, though, EOC takes into account both the communicative form, which may include but is not limited to spoken language, and its function within the given culture. general aims of this qualitative research method include being able to discern which communication acts and/or codes are important to different groups, what types of meanings groups apply to different communication events, and how group members learn these codes, in order to provide insight into particular communities. This additional insight may be used to enhance communication with group members' decisions, and distinguish groups from one another, among other things". (Wikipedia) 

Reading this, I realised that the existence of these speech codes havebeen studied for some time and are a reflection of social attitudes. However, this important aspect of communication is not taken into account by many people in their everyday life. It is only when a clash between groups occurs and an explanation is needed that this difference in speech codes becomes known. When outsiders cannot understand, the group perceives it and needs to change ther code to include those people,  or risk alienating them.
Personally, I feel like an aoutsider every time people talk about TV peograms or soap operas that I haven't even heard about. Nevertheless, this does not happen a lot. I have, however, witnessed many people struggling to understand when my siblings and I make references to books or movies. When that happens, we need to explain every single reference and communication is disrupted.

Have you ever felt like you could not understand a word, even when they were speaking in Spanish? Have you ever had to explain certain reference or comment to someone?